deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crawl first
put it on paper
they said
leave it there
never look back
or tear each page over the river
and watch as the pain floats away
maybe lock it in a box
burry the key
and never look back
then when you get the chance to rewrite your story
make sure
that time
you
learn to crawl before you walk
they said
leave it there
never look back
or tear each page over the river
and watch as the pain floats away
maybe lock it in a box
burry the key
and never look back
then when you get the chance to rewrite your story
make sure
that time
you
learn to crawl before you walk
Published 11th Jan 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 18
reads 114
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
11th Jan 2014 6:31am
Oh yes, because trying to walk before crawling leads to many falls...
Enjoyed this! :) Xo
Enjoyed this! :) Xo
11th Jan 2014 6:33am
11th Jan 2014 9:45am
11th Jan 2014 3:25pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Feb 2019 4:35pm
11th Jan 2014 6:44pm
<< post removed >>
12th Jan 2014 2:03am
12th Jan 2014 7:33am
Loved "watch as the pain floats away" on the river, brilliant.
Great seeing your ink again, Gigi!
Great seeing your ink again, Gigi!
12th Jan 2014 11:08pm
14th Jan 2014 9:13pm
Spot on let it be, you rocked it girl! The bad choices have a way of slapping the shit out of us later in life. I try and look at life like tattoos, think things over and be happy with your choices. Nothing says I love you mom more that her portrait with a knife sticking out her forehead with the under caption “Die Bitch”. You never think about stepping out of that teenage rebellious period!
4th Feb 2014 11:04am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
14th Jan 2014 11:19pm
<< post removed >>
4th Feb 2014 11:05am
20th Jan 2014 6:19am
4th Feb 2014 11:05am
20th Jan 2014 7:22pm
You know you can not "leave the pain float away." Also, as you know, "you can never look back." I feel your emotions (which are really mine, not yours). "burry" is spelled wrongly. I disagree with every comment made about your poem. But, and this is important, essential: I see a poet in the making. Keep it up, please. Thank you for allowing me to read this.
marcella1
marcella1
4th Feb 2014 11:07am
Well Ty I appreciate the honesty ! It's what makes people work harder Ty again xoxo
22nd Jan 2014 4:15am
I agree with Atakti's take on the line about the pain floating away and "tear each page over the river" is such a lovely image. You make your insightful point clearly in few words which is awesome, however, I think you have the chops to elaborate on some details. Maybe describing the box and key a bit, for instance, to add a little color and make the scene more vivid. Just my humble opinion as I think the piece does work well on its own. Nice job !
4th Feb 2014 11:10am
Yeah I'm not very good with formation of words so all my work is lacking . It's hard to write at all for me but I keep on trying . I love the truth . It actually helps me. Now I will try and fix it up by rereading fifty time ( being honest lol ) but appreciate it xoxo Ty