My Life of Lies

(an except from a book I am attempting to write)

*I have rested with the shadows and have been reborn with the phoenix, only this time I shall not burn away.*


      The world has forgotten about hope. Despair sells more tickets to the theater and we all laugh while locking and leaving the truth in a frail case, awaiting judgment when our feelings are made known. A brighter moment cannot be seen in a world of darkest hours. All this I know, for I once made my bed in this darkness, the darkness that creeps and does not hide, it has no fear and it has no king. There is no cold here, there is no rain or sun or moon. Any feeling that once existed has been extinct and every memory has been erased. There is no joy in this darkness, nor is there sadness, only nothing. Forever nothing.
    I am recovered. Five and a half years have I spent rebuilding this rubbled foundation. My Creator noticed the hardness of my work and deemed me able to stand again. As a child I learned to grow and continue down my path. No longer am I known for my life of lies. I now trust and am trusted. It has been a long way up, much longer than the trip down, but every second that I am, every beat my heart gives, every breath these lungs inhale they all do so with hope. For without hope, what am I? Without my words, what shall others be?
    I have been made to overcome through constant crucifixion of self and desire. I live to speak hope to ears that are soft and alive. I hope to speak life to those reaching in any direction, crying out for some acknowledgment, those failing countless times to mend or medicate or maintain their prescribed status.  Although the journey may be long and treacherous, the light is worth seeing. The light calls away the darkness and the desolation, it strengthens the suffering and the shamed, and it gives hope to the weak and the wilted. The shadows no longer know me and I no longer beckon them.