deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unwanted
(A re-write)
Flicked from cruelty's wrist, his
careless lashes crack my numbness —
cat o' nine knots welting spite,
perfidy, fury... It feazes, frays
to hair-strands which I brush off
along with shards of useless pride
when I remember who I am.
Re-write of my first DU poem:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/62668-unwanted/
Worked for the comp, "My, how you've grown!"
Flicked from cruelty's wrist, his
careless lashes crack my numbness —
cat o' nine knots welting spite,
perfidy, fury... It feazes, frays
to hair-strands which I brush off
along with shards of useless pride
when I remember who I am.
Re-write of my first DU poem:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/62668-unwanted/
Worked for the comp, "My, how you've grown!"
Published 5th Jan 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 1
comments 22
reads 151
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Jan 2014 8:50pm
8th Jan 2014 5:57am
Short but deadly this was...the "cat o' nine knots" got the best of me :-D Sick piece Tak...
8th Jan 2014 5:58am
5th Jan 2014 9:09pm
'Cat O' nine knots welting spite' is an outstanding line - it's great to read them side by side
8th Jan 2014 5:59am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 10:07pm
5th Jan 2014 10:24pm
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:01am
"Soul" was the word I used in the original, Gabriel! You have a good eye...
Thank you!
:)
Thank you!
:)
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 11:39am
6th Jan 2014 6:47am
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:02am
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
6th Jan 2014 1:07pm
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:03am
Mourganna, I had that phrase "what I am" in my head but couldn't fit it in - I'm so excited to see you make the connection!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 3:44pm
6th Jan 2014 6:09pm
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:05am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 7:37pm
7th Jan 2014 6:20am
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:10am
Ah, Jenkins, the inner sinister is a compelling landscape. It's little wonder so many write of it. I'm very pleased to read your comments. Thank you for taking the time with my work.
Yes line three is a hit, it seems! Little sleets of inspiration, (as described in the Discworld series) hit my brain and it always feels strange taking the credit for those...
Thanks again!
Yes line three is a hit, it seems! Little sleets of inspiration, (as described in the Discworld series) hit my brain and it always feels strange taking the credit for those...
Thanks again!
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
7th Jan 2014 9:08am
<< post removed >>
8th Jan 2014 6:17am
You were one of the first poets to encourage me, Magdalena, and still do! For that, my deepest thanks.
Here's a New Year Hug (groping optional)
Huggggg ;)
Here's a New Year Hug (groping optional)
Huggggg ;)
27th Jan 2014 7:24pm
5th Feb 2014 9:36pm
5th Feb 2014 5:59pm
Cat attack! Sorry, I could not refrain myself. A double apology for taking so long to read this tight dark write. I have not been here long, but I follow you because I learn and love your poems.
5th Feb 2014 9:42pm
Thank you, kindly, Jake, how very generous of you to share that!
:)
Yeah, ok, 'cat' was kinda fancy... There was always a danger of getting too fancy. After all, the trail of the original emotion had grown cold...
:)
Yeah, ok, 'cat' was kinda fancy... There was always a danger of getting too fancy. After all, the trail of the original emotion had grown cold...