Letters To Matthew

I've never felt more alone than when I was
with you. You scared me into submission.
If you didn't get your way, you'd sulk.
Depriving me of love and affection.
Conditional love.

You always wanted us to be perfect, wanted
me to be perfect. Yes sir, no sir, three bags
full, sir. When I stopped dressing up, stopped
wearing make-up. I wasn't giving up. I thought
I could be myself.

As loud as I screamed inside, you never heard.
And if you did, you never listened. You never
understood me and unlike you, I don't need
constant companionship for support. I have
my friends and I know they're with me til
the end. One's company, two's a crowd, three's
a party, my sweet.