This emotion

This emotion.                          
It oozes from every God damn pore in my skin. Infects the air.                          
Making it hard to breath. Harder to see. Eyes wide shut I can                          
never see a fucking thing. Spirals of things that used to be my                          
hope for life now just spit in the wind.                          
                         
Darkness can be safety. You just need to know where you are.                          
                         
And where they are.          
                         
Those close to you will hurt you first. It's the nature of things.                          
                         
Have you ever watched your home burn?                          
                   
Everything burns. Eventually. You just need time. Singleness of purpose                          
and fuck buckets of heat. The best memories burn the hottest.                          
I should never have touched the fire. It burns even now.                          
                         
I ran so fast. Held on so tight my nails left my fingertips. And still I fell hard.                          
                         
Life is struggle.                          
                         
Just remember, try a little harder on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are last                          
chance heats to build a better, more productive week.                          
                         
But then again, fuck it!                         
                         
That's more than twice the effort it deserves. 'Cause let me tell you kiddies you'll                          
still find that the end of the week will have you on your knees begging for the                          
Lord God to bless us with his presence. If not just to retrieve my eyeballs with                          
the only point of entry being my fucking anus. Fucked by fuck knows who!                          
It wouldn't bother me but my ass hurts. So fuck off!                          
                         
Anyway, I've been wondering and I think that maybe it was that time in the kwombie van in Tassie. Yeah. That feels right. So my thoughts on that? Die you Cunt! No! No! Live! Live and suffer. Let me watch. A chosen collection of your peers as it were. I'll watch and wait. That little smile. That slimy sneer.                          
                         
Look at me you fuck! LOOK AT ME!                       
                         
I'm not so little now cunt..                          
                         
Can you see hell in my eyes?                          
                         
Now its your turn.                          
                         
I'll applaud your efforts at looking pathetic with a side of weakness that'll leave us                          
rolling in the isles. Entertainment for all. All that is except you. If you could be near the hate I feel for you you would blacken. Fade to a filthy, sick fucking smudge. You fuck! I despise the very thought of you.                          
                         
Fuck this! Fucking bullshit I say. Humbugs to all and to all with this night!