deepundergroundpoetry.com
Missed
Laying here at night
Big girls don't cry right?
Do you care what you did to me?
Just up and destroyed our history
Like, it was no big deal
Shattered me, I need a seal
Kill me now, cut my throat
All with a single note
Ill just lay here and cry
Hell you didn't even say goodbye
Just someone to be used
Yeah, you thought you could abuse
I can't even make myself walk away
Ill just keep my thoughts at bay
I'm no longer me, never again
You changed me, never to mend
Just wish I could be over this
Cupid shot and he missed
Yeah, he missed.
Big girls don't cry right?
Do you care what you did to me?
Just up and destroyed our history
Like, it was no big deal
Shattered me, I need a seal
Kill me now, cut my throat
All with a single note
Ill just lay here and cry
Hell you didn't even say goodbye
Just someone to be used
Yeah, you thought you could abuse
I can't even make myself walk away
Ill just keep my thoughts at bay
I'm no longer me, never again
You changed me, never to mend
Just wish I could be over this
Cupid shot and he missed
Yeah, he missed.
Published 20th Dec 2013
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Dec 2013 11:37am
21st Dec 2013 4:33pm
Very good, heart felt and a lot of truth presented in your poem which applies to may ladies I'm sure.
Cap't Ron
Cap't Ron
5th Jan 2014 5:21am
You write honestly and with your heart on your sleeve and that is good. I think the reliance on rhyme makes you pull your punches a bit. You've got some real strong lines here like , "Kill me now, cut my throat," and the terrific ending, "Cupid shot and he missed
Yeah, he missed." Your words also flow in a good rhythm. The passion is certainly there, now just let the blood flow without worrying too much about the rhyme. Don't get me wrong. Rhyming is a good device for emphasis on certain parts of a piece but I think you write well enough to let the words rip without a crutch. Just my humble and I hope helpful opinion. You've got a lot to say and I've no doubt your words will be heard . Keep up the good work !
Yeah, he missed." Your words also flow in a good rhythm. The passion is certainly there, now just let the blood flow without worrying too much about the rhyme. Don't get me wrong. Rhyming is a good device for emphasis on certain parts of a piece but I think you write well enough to let the words rip without a crutch. Just my humble and I hope helpful opinion. You've got a lot to say and I've no doubt your words will be heard . Keep up the good work !
5th Jan 2014 2:35pm