Loner's Love

Nights are cold, dark and dreary,
When my heart is weak and weary.
Upon this night a shadow is born,
The manifestation of a lost love’s scorn.
How to say what should have been heard in the past,
Is the hardest thing, such an impossible task.
The fear of rejection would not to permit,
A loner’s mouth ever to ever spit,
Of the true emotions deep inside,
Will forever stay and then reside,
To an area of self-loathing and hate,
With no one else to blame for her own mistake.
To be isolated and then to vow,
Never again shall I sweat from my brow,
To tell the longing of my heart,
Never again shall I start,
To grow these retched feelings again,
When they had never once befriend,
Someone dear, kind, and true.
How could I pay this suffer’s due?
You will never know and this I am glad.
You will never know, too, makes me sad.
If only you knew the torment that I’m in.
If only you knew the hectic state from within,
That bubbles outwards and spews its toxic gas,
Clouds my vision and then I gasp,
For the touch of you, the smell of you,
That voice of yours and then all’s subdued.
If only a loner can let you know,
What’s going down below,
Past the brown eyes and tight lips,
Is a longing heart with suicidal slits.