Please Call

I get so confused so easily.
Yesterday, we talked non-stop.
Today, I haven't even heard your voice.
I keep telling myself I don't
give a shit....
but I do and it sucks.

The other day you came to my
rescue when he slammed me
up against the wall.
Damn ex-husbands.
You listened, you cared and
the next thing I knew...you drove
40 miles in 20 minutes to
be there for me.
Today...not a word.

I just want to laugh like I did
yesterday.
Hear your voice that makes my
heart drop in to my stomach.
The voice that makes me stray
from all other bad things.
Makes me want to do good in life.

I can't keep calling though.
Don't want to seem desperate.
Part of me thinks he talks to me
for days in a row and falls for me
harder...
then stops abruptly because
he gets scared. Shy's away
from me till he thinks he can
get control of himself again.
2 days later.....
he loses it all over once again.

I love him.
Regardless whether I'm "in love"
with him or I love him as my best
friend, I still need him.
I still need to hear his voice
and it sucks that I miss him only after
a fucking day.

So, I guess I'll go to bed.
Jump every time that damn phone
rings and every time it'll be another
telemarketer.
Or one of my friends who are trying
to figure out why I've gone off the
radar.
Not him. Not the one I need.
I'm not calling any more.
I don't want to seem desperate.

I guess I'll call him one more time.
Then that's it, I promise.

Did I ever tell anyone how much I lie?

;)