brused and confused

i lay in my bed..
all my belongings pilled up against the door,
my brothers cowering in the corner..
'daddy dont'
im frightened
but i have to be strong..
strong for my brothers go away i scream
i hold my brothers tight,
signing snuff to calm myself

i know that when he gets that door open..
its the end.
he has never been this mad..
mummy isint here to help us
all i can do is sit and wait..
i tell my brothers i love them and hold them even tighter

our screaming stops and i am face to face with a baseball bat,
he trows it around and ruined the one sanctuary i have
tore at my posters untill he found us..
in the corner
he pulls my brother out into the hall
its my job to protect them
i mustered up all my courage that one night
and choked him with a tape messhure
im so small compared to him..

my brothers safe locked in the car..
i cant drive.. im underage i dont want to harm my brothers
i knew..
i had to go back in the house
that is all i could remember
i blacked out,
i woke.. saw headed..
he was gone
my brothers still crying in the car..
its ok i tell them..
daddys gone..
were did you go sisi?

i couldn't remember..
i woke in the hall way.. bloody faced and brused..
i dont know why he hits us said my brother..
we are all so good he said.. the he paused..
what is it i said
and he replied were good..
but your not sis..

i was confused
its your fault he hits us isint it sis?
all i could do was walk away

and wisper..
'but i saved you both'


(not really a poem.. dosnt have good structure but i had to get that off my chest)
thank you for reading