This time...I can do it.

The other day I had this epiphany.
I've never felt like this before.
I finally said "no".
I looked at my daughter and just
hours later I looked at this man
who I'm absolutely taken with.
I fucking said "no".
I can't do this anymore.
I've messed up too much.

But this time I feel better about
it and more confident.
I think about it for a few minutes
and my cravings are unbelievable.
Then I look in the mirror and say
"Megan, you can do this. You're
better than this" and I walk away
with a smile on my face.

Today, I had to take some norcos
today to make my stomach feel a
little better.
I felt bad about that but it wasn't Heroin.
It won't be an every day thing b/c
them things fuck my stomach up.

I KNOW I can do it.
Before I was skeptical.
I can though.
I have too much to lose.

My family
My friends
My life.