ol mexico

keep dreamin about heroin      
with a hard heart on      
need a good drunk      
so i can cry again      
seger puts pictures on the piano      
     
days that i miss so much      
but was so miserable then      
but ain't that the way it always is?      
     
everybody got it backwards      
this time isn't just like that movie      
that movie is just like this time      
i used to like      
how it all seemed like  
an out of body experience      
     
watching every stupid move i make      
from a 22 degree      
2 o clock      
aerial camera shot      
     
but at least half of me had to be in there      
or else my innards would'nt be      
in A      
five months after july grey      
nicotine,carbon monoxide,two hundred and fifty dollar gram      
brown and dirty yellow way      
     
the only time i ever felt inside      
when my diaphram,dirty raspy,smoke worn vocal and six strings coincide      
singin my own eulogy      
so out of time      
     
not like there is'nt any left      
but i just don't got anything left      
 in me for tomorrow      
god damn i miss ten minutes ago      
lost      
baskin in      
remember when      
i did'nt just want december to end      
good time old friend      
memories that never even have been      
out of time like i said      
     
but if that makes sense      
     
i had to stray from the digital      
back to the ol notebook and pen      
so i can      
cross shit out again      
flip book,picture frame,eyeball the negatives      
with a magnifying glass      
on this ant's ass      
reread ideas and lines      
i have'nt even really thought about yet    
   
i break everything      
{anal}yze till it's so sick of me      
what the fuck are you staring at!!!!!!!!!!!!!       
     
doin my monologue like carlito      
all laid out on his back      
at the end of his way      
nobody wants to let the cowboys ride      
but i ain't seen no dynamite      
on the tracks      
to stop this train yet        
     
all i could put back together      
was a hot beat      
riff or a chorus      
it's the classic      
humpty dumpty      
jay z      
paradox      
add no sober,social,societal,media success      
plus the best      
putting me in a box      
for bein too outside of it      
     
don't even think about shit    
like "if i could do it all again?"      
bury me far away      
in an unmarked grave      
and let's just forget about it    
the end