Relapse, Recover, and Collapse Again

I knew I should’ve let this hole grow,
This feeling of nothingness.
You meant so much to me, beyond what you know.
But damn, I want to say fuck happiness.

Your actions put a severe dent in my heart.
Lost in these sentiments tonight.
How you brought me bliss from our start,
Is left for me to think about, this sorrowful night.

So sick of this endless process.
Relapse, recover, and collapse again.
I’m drowning in this disappointing excess.

I guess it was my fault for expecting too much.
My eyes are jaded of this life, cause it’s all fucked up.
Void is playing tug of war with my heart and such.
Your words are felt by this heart they’ve touched.

I accepted your every flaw to see a perfect picture.
But you seemed to still distort its texture.
Your actions are at fault for taking these measures.

I had this underlying feeling you never needed me.
Let this darkness consume what’s left, you see?
Here I was thinking you we’re the sweetest.
Your thoughts fill my psyche
I’m shocked with pain with each one I see.

I’ll be stronger at the end of this depression,
But I don’t know if I’ll love again after this suppression…