I wish that someone will Stay

i have a habit
a habit of pushing
people away and
almost as a test
seeing who comes
back

except it back-
fires and sometimes
no one returns

other times i do it
in the hope that
they won’t come back
that they’ll get the
message
i don’t want them
around

that one backfired too

i know i’m not an
easy person
to be around

i know i can be grumpy
and moody and
there are days when
i just don’t
want to talk

but i wish i could
trust
that someone’ll stay