Continuation of War

My body left
But the war rages on
Battling these feelings slowly defeating myself
All new levels of stress
Thinking about killing myself
What would it solve
I am way pass the thoughts of killing myself
My life hurts me
Deep puncture wounds to the soul of this man
Who stands strong on the outside
But on the inside voices telling the outside to stop the lies
Realized my life in my eyes
is not the reality of what is shown thru these eyes
I know a man is not suppose to cry
But I can not help the tears pooling in my eyes
Sitting in my truck reflecting
Feeling some type of way trying to conceal my feelings
But my mood will not let me
Tears flowing as
My mind blocking the so many reasons to live for
Someone has to hear my cry's
I need to get this off my chest
What is the real reason I'm hear for
I need some kind of sign because I am slowly loosing hope
Gun in my hand weighing the good and bad
Bad whooping goods ass up against the ropes
But good is slowly fighting back
Giving direction back to myself
how to love myself is what's needed
To try and salvage what is left
Of this man who once stood strong