Edgewater

I miss Edgewater.
I felt safe there.
Been gone so long I am no longer the same.
Being there made everything feel right.
I was still kind of young, able to muster,
Up for anything.
I spent the turn of the century
Running around the North Side
With the E as my home.
There was a time when I thought I would live there forever.

Now, middle age is my home.
I don't recognize myself.
I fear I am not aging well.
I have no interest in the things a man
Of my age should want.
I never cared to raise children,
Water a lawn, paint a fence.
Illness has brought stillness
But my heart still wants what it did in the past.

I want to feel wild again,
To run through the night again.
To feel a sense of the unknown,
Of adventure.
Illness has made me old and I hate it.
Now, a big day is trip to the doctor.
I used to run free, tequila drunk, in the Texas summertime.
I cared about girls, booze, fun, and nothing past tomorrow.
Nothing was pre-decided then, the future was blank.
Now, life is all colored in and I am lost.