Did We Mean Nothing?

Filthy hands,
Filthy smile.
She haunts me.
I hate her.
I blame her.
She ruined us.
I can't think,
there is no future
just the past.
The essence of us.
What we were,
before,
her.

Nothing seems right.
You seem healed.
You seem happy,
Excited,
Like I meant . . .
nothing.
Like we meant. . .
nothing.
You seem so independent,
While I,
Have yet to go a night
without crying
Without bleeding
Dripping tears of red
From my thigh
The old marks and the new
Blended together
In a collage of pain
I don't know what to do anymore