deepundergroundpoetry.com

The Shitpot My Life Is

I do wrong and life goes on
But my fragile little world is shaken

I guess I jinxed myself
The shit hit the floor
Life the bitch came back for more
But this time I called her in

Her hands are strong
They close around my neck
She's sitting on my chest
I can't breathe
I'm caving in

"Say it," she seethes
Through clenched teeth
"Confess your cyber whoring ways"

I come clean
But she still chokes me
Oh, she's going to make me pay

Then she's still
I can hear my lovers voice
His strange breathing
The ever so carefully cloaked anger
That lurks beneath his surface

His voice is calm
But dripping with danger
Suddenly I'm afraid

Life releases chokehold
But watches from afar
I'm hyperventilating on my own
Feeling horrid and cruel and alone
If I thought it was cold before
It's icy as a dead, still heart

I'm not worth shit
My promises are thrown to the crows
Just preparation for my humble pie later

My words aren't shit
Repetition gets old and tiring
I'm afraid of myself and my human nature

Human nature is shit
I'm driven by impulse and emotion

I'm shit.

Undeserving of the people in my life
My best friend, my lover,
Not even my old faithful knife
I should be alone
So I can't hurt anyone anymore

I'm tired
I'm guilty

Life sneers at me with scorn
Watching from where she leans in the corner
"Well?" I shriek. "What the hell are you waiting for?!"

She just turns and walks out the door
Leaving me with the broken pieces of my life
Scattered on my bedroom floor

And me

Curled up in an exhausted little heap
Drained of tears
Longing for my childhood years

Succumbing to fitful sleep