deepundergroundpoetry.com
just a kiss
just a kiss
a flick of the tongue
a brush of the fingertips
a nip of teeth on flesh
a kiss anywhere and everywhere
the lips the chest and stomach
flick of the tongue anywhere
on the jaw bone the fingertips
fingertips brushing everywhere
the nape of the neck the back
nipping of teeth anywhere
the shoulders and arms
let me kiss you
anyway you want
anyway you like
let me lick you
everywhere possible
everywhere you let me
let me caress you
anywhere possible
anywhere I can get to
let me bite you
everywhere you let me
everywhere I can to please you
if none of that then
just a kiss
a flick of the tongue
a brush of the fingertips
a nip of teeth on flesh
a kiss anywhere and everywhere
the lips the chest and stomach
flick of the tongue anywhere
on the jaw bone the fingertips
fingertips brushing everywhere
the nape of the neck the back
nipping of teeth anywhere
the shoulders and arms
let me kiss you
anyway you want
anyway you like
let me lick you
everywhere possible
everywhere you let me
let me caress you
anywhere possible
anywhere I can get to
let me bite you
everywhere you let me
everywhere I can to please you
if none of that then
just a kiss
Published 7th Nov 2013
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comments 10
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
7th Nov 2013 7:41pm
<< post removed >>
7th Nov 2013 9:32pm
I like this very much indeed.
Your use of partial and irregular rhyming
Works well and is very pleasing to my ear - and I have read it out loud - it's τђє only way I can truly appreciate a poem.
Your first verse is particularly well written:
just a kiss
a flick of the tongue
a brush of the fingertips
a nip of teeth on flesh
Just magic! Your choices with not only τђє words themselves but also τђє placement of those words so that they take Õή a range of new meanings.
You are not afraid to take τђє risk of repeating words as you show in τђє next verses:
anywhere everywhere
anywhere fingertips
fingertips everywhere
anywhere anyway anyway...
Repitition does not always work as well as you have made it work here. You've turned your poem into a plea, a cry...finally admitting that you would settle for just a kiss. Τђє repeated words also add to τђє erotic feel of τђє poem.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Best. Carl.
Your use of partial and irregular rhyming
Works well and is very pleasing to my ear - and I have read it out loud - it's τђє only way I can truly appreciate a poem.
Your first verse is particularly well written:
just a kiss
a flick of the tongue
a brush of the fingertips
a nip of teeth on flesh
Just magic! Your choices with not only τђє words themselves but also τђє placement of those words so that they take Õή a range of new meanings.
You are not afraid to take τђє risk of repeating words as you show in τђє next verses:
anywhere everywhere
anywhere fingertips
fingertips everywhere
anywhere anyway anyway...
Repitition does not always work as well as you have made it work here. You've turned your poem into a plea, a cry...finally admitting that you would settle for just a kiss. Τђє repeated words also add to τђє erotic feel of τђє poem.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Best. Carl.
8th Nov 2013 00:30am
oTHER_vOICES
thank you so much for your comment. you have made my day by doing so. Im glad that you like my poem. I am honored to know that you have read it aloud and that your ears have liked it
emo1
thank you so much for your comment. you have made my day by doing so. Im glad that you like my poem. I am honored to know that you have read it aloud and that your ears have liked it
emo1
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 1:35pm
8th Nov 2013 4:16am
<< post removed >>
8th Nov 2013 5:04am
8th Nov 2013 6:19am
8th Nov 2013 6:38am
8th Nov 2013 10:48pm
8th Nov 2013 10:53pm