deepundergroundpoetry.com
Storage Shed
Stone cold heads all in a row
Faces lined up against the wall
Some once a handsome fellow
Some scarred, some tattooed
Their countenance seems serene
Though their situation is crude
Eyes closed in deadly sleep
Not a tear, not a peep
Freshly hosed down
And placed so neatly
Yet the rancid water
Can't hide the stench of death
The cartels storage chambers
Of snitches and rivals
Not cocaine or meth
Headless corpses litter the floor
A gory mercenary with no respect
Only morbid trophies of rot and stink
Mingled water and blood
Remnants of executions
Innocents and traitors alike
Fallen to the same fate and plight
Here comes dragged in another load
More despicable decorations for this Devil's abode
Entered in the War Zone comp
Inspired by this: http://www.bestgore.com/beheading/mexico-beheading-corpse-storage/
Faces lined up against the wall
Some once a handsome fellow
Some scarred, some tattooed
Their countenance seems serene
Though their situation is crude
Eyes closed in deadly sleep
Not a tear, not a peep
Freshly hosed down
And placed so neatly
Yet the rancid water
Can't hide the stench of death
The cartels storage chambers
Of snitches and rivals
Not cocaine or meth
Headless corpses litter the floor
A gory mercenary with no respect
Only morbid trophies of rot and stink
Mingled water and blood
Remnants of executions
Innocents and traitors alike
Fallen to the same fate and plight
Here comes dragged in another load
More despicable decorations for this Devil's abode
Entered in the War Zone comp
Inspired by this: http://www.bestgore.com/beheading/mexico-beheading-corpse-storage/
Published 6th Nov 2013
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Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
6th Nov 2013 7:44pm
<< post removed >>
6th Nov 2013 8:02pm
7th Nov 2013 2:35am
8th Nov 2013 00:24am
7th Nov 2013 2:38pm
8th Nov 2013 00:24am
7th Nov 2013 5:12pm
It reminds me of a collage. Each sentence, autonomous as it seems to me, adds something crucial to the overall idea of the poem. In other cases i would suggest you linked the sentences together with punctuation but this poem it doesn't need it. I like how each sentence can be read on its own and also as part of a whole poem.
my 2 cents , not very constructive though.
my 2 cents , not very constructive though.
8th Nov 2013 00:23am
Your feedback was much appreciated! Thank you very much for your 2 cents :)
8th Nov 2013 4:31am
8th Nov 2013 8:08am