sick

the truth is

i’m sick.

runny nose, watery eyes,

sleepless nights, clouded thoughts

hopeless days

zero energy.

i want to give up

but somehow

i wake up every day

and let it pass by like the last

wondering

when will things be different?

when will things get better?

i’m there for everyone

but i don’t want anyone to

be here for me.

because…

just because.

so i pop a pill to drown the pain

to ignore the loneliness.

but the pain always resurfaces.

the pain always comes back.

and it reverberates through my spine

leaving me limp

lifeless

souless.

and thoughtlessly

staring blankly in a dark room.

but.

there’s no runny nose, no tears,

no thoughts.

this has become my peace.

my comfort.

my cure.