Poof. Gone.

 
I miss him like the empty puzzle piece in the picture.
Most of it's still there.
But it's the holes that people stare at, whatever it was supposed to be damned.
I've finally figured out my holes.
They're there because of the incredible instability that rips through a person when you lose someone who changed you.
He didn't die. But it felt like everything he gave me did.
To me, death means no longer able.  no longer able to exist the same.
Wasn't this just another form of death?
Or just the shell shock of change.
He changed me.
He pulled me out of the hidden corner of my life, made me anew then left me here to figure it out when I was barely coming to grips.
I was fine. I was fine shut in myself.
But he showed me a world better then that.
He showed me the wonders of life, the kindness of strangers, the beauty of the connection of music in your soul, the possibilities of a gas station in two in the morning, the feeling of a passionate touch, and most of all what it feels like to be accepted, loved and wanted.
I could never say thank you enough.
But I'm angry it's gone.
I'm angry Im different because once you go to those places you can't go back, and I was left behind by the only person who knew how to navigate them.
I'm all alone in this place I've never been and I can't even scream what do I do because it seems so ridiculous to ask.
I'm afraid.
Though I know I'm gonna be alright.
I'm ok without you.
But regardless I wish you were here.