Toughest day

Day 2....
tomorrow is Day 3.
The hardest day that comes along
and I'm sick of whining.
I could say I'm not going to town..
not go to my friends
If you're looking for me...
you know where I'll be found.
I'll be there long enough to
make a phone call, sit on the floor
roll up a bill, get high...
till I can get high no more.

Today is even harder
when it should be a day of happiness.
Family gathered at the table
and enjoying a brand new niece.
Instead my toes are tapping
my lip is starting to bleed...
today can't go by fast enough
I hate this is what I need.
I feel pathetic and horrible
for wanting to enjoy a substance
more than my family
it seems like I'd be used to this.

I'm on edge and pissed off
for a dumb fkn reason
I'm sorry I'm this way, I can't help it today
My body aches and I am freezing.
I guess I'm just through with saying "I quit"
even though I'm not going to stop trying.
But the more I let myself down every day
the more I feel like dying.

So, today is day 2, like I said...
I'm going to pray for a good "day 3"
but I see no use in doing that
this shit has got such a hold over me.