deepundergroundpoetry.com
The calmness in the rain
The sun vanishes
Behind clouds that dominate
Like happiness in a pessimist.
You don't see it proliferate.
I indicate how important it is to smile
Yet it's a paradox for me,
it only happens once in a while.
I start to feel the rain come
and wash my senses away
when it rains it pours because
it doesn't stop all day.
My mood is dragged down
And now it's hard to stay awake
My eyes close and I start to
feel no pain.
I suppose I'm getting old
because I've found calmness in the rain.
*Entered in the "4 trophies or less" comp*
Behind clouds that dominate
Like happiness in a pessimist.
You don't see it proliferate.
I indicate how important it is to smile
Yet it's a paradox for me,
it only happens once in a while.
I start to feel the rain come
and wash my senses away
when it rains it pours because
it doesn't stop all day.
My mood is dragged down
And now it's hard to stay awake
My eyes close and I start to
feel no pain.
I suppose I'm getting old
because I've found calmness in the rain.
*Entered in the "4 trophies or less" comp*
Published 26th Oct 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Oct 2013 7:48pm
This is a very fresh outlook on clouds that dominate the sky. Clouds can easily be a metaphor for a pessimistic outlook, and you have perhaps touched upon it here, in a very outstanding way.
You are right not to let them proliferate because they can easily take over our lives which is not a good thing because the key is to remain with a sunny disposition. Even if there are clouds hanging overhead. And if there is a cloud, then we have to depend on our own internal sunshine. Which can be a shaky proposition, depending upon the steadiness of our gait, and our mind's angle on a given proposition.
But this is a very good effort, and a very good lesson for everyone.
You are right not to let them proliferate because they can easily take over our lives which is not a good thing because the key is to remain with a sunny disposition. Even if there are clouds hanging overhead. And if there is a cloud, then we have to depend on our own internal sunshine. Which can be a shaky proposition, depending upon the steadiness of our gait, and our mind's angle on a given proposition.
But this is a very good effort, and a very good lesson for everyone.
26th Oct 2013 8:16pm
I enjoyed your feedback, for once someone who analyzes things for what they are. You get tired of lazy feedback after a while. Your outlook upon my piece is much appreciated.
27th Oct 2013 00:09am
That evoked interesting imageries...a look into the cycle of nature...and a reaction. Good read Bale.
27th Oct 2013 5:43pm