I am(Heathen)

Today was different
I was happy for a while
Saw the brighter side again
For a second, even smiled
 
Then I was taken back to the realm that I hate the most
Reality, the place where you drunkenly host
 
I began to think, and then I got scared
The killers and crazies and rapists were out there
But then I realized, I was the worst of all
The one that lived without a purpose or call
 
I am the one with no other means
I am the one that feeds on your screams
I am the one that hides under your bed
I am the one that chops off your head  
 
I sit in the dark and write scriptures of sorts
Not the sort that are written with all kinds of lies
But the kind that your corrupted teachers despise
 
I am the heathen that feeds on the whore
I am the heathen that steals from the poor
I am the heathen that bathes in the mud
I am the heathen that writes in your blood  
 
My eyes are bloodshot, my face is red
Here I lay now, in my death bed
Covered in bruises, from head to toe
My last breath is close, this I know
 
I am the one that tried to help
I am the one that silenced the whelp
I am the one that revealed all the lies
I am the one with no last goodbyes