11/12/12

(note: this was a journal entry last November, it may be rough and make absolute no sense because this is the i think and I stamped it on paper, if you read it all and understand I thank you in advance for taking your time.)







  It was November 12, six days before my birthday.It was Two years then we had been together,Two year,three months and 12 days.I remember the day perfectly cause it was a Monday, I had gotten up early cause you wanted to got to the Beach, so we did.We got there, me, you,three of your girlfriends and two of my boys and some guy you told was an old friend.

The day was so fun, i was smiling so much and we decided to drive to this swamp place that we could canoe in...and i freaked I remember telling you what happened the last time i got in one of those "death traps"...literally a fucking death trap.
So i made an excuse to go back to the beach, i said i would be back in 20 minutes, and you could could enjoy the canoe ride..without my pussy ass whining.I walked through the Tunnel that separates the Beach, the street and where the canoe place was..not long really about a four lane wide tunnel.
But I was sitting on the beach alone..and i forgot you guys had the cooler, so I though I could run back for a Mountain dew before you guys went on.

I went down the few steps, turn around the corner and i saw a couple fucking,I smirked thinking to myself they need to get a room, then I stopped and just stood there.Like a fucking idiot...
My mind was trying to comprehend what I saw..and i felt my heart turn black.I saw her, the look of pleasure on her face, the passion in her eyes...and how she was fucking another guy.
My stomach acted as if i had just taken a hay-maker.
my throat got plugged up
My knees gave out on me...then she saw me,
he did too they were looking at me on the floor.

Then those fucking words came out of her mouth "Abby"?,"Honey Bear"?I couldn't think straight, my body felt hot then the thought came to me, I'm a kill this Bitch...i gonna fucking kill her right now,so i started thinking and remember my Knife, that i always carry around left,no no right pocket.. and it was there my trusty pocket knife.

I got up, pull it out and started walking towards them. She had this terrified, panicked look on her face and he wanted to run...good would of given me, some quality alone time with her and she tried to walk up to me and tried talking but she stepped back, she knew what she had done, she knew this wasn't normal even for me. the guy ran and she looked back at the man she was fucking...maybe she hoped he was gonna protect her...oh well you chose wrong Bitch.

She started to cry...she got on her knees and grabbed my other hand and begged, she said " I'm sorry love, it was a mistake, it was just an old friend I don't know what came over me, I, I, I...please don't leave me not after everything, can you please forgive me?
I couldn't stop myself my arm was raised, knife tight in hand and i smirked at the thought of me over loving this slag.I swung down and i stabbed myself in the thigh and I felt pain, sharp pain in my leg and I looked at her and i told her to get out of here leave, don't come near me ever again.I'm done with you stupid git.


I turned around and she said"Rwy'n dy garu di" and i chocked a little, almost letting a tear out, but no fuck that. I wasn't gonna cry not here not now. I said "No matter how you say it,
your words is means shit now". I went and talked to my boys and we went home,her and her friends could get a ride from someone else, I couldn't give a fuck. I went home that day and fell straight into depression locked myself in a house,and i never recovered.

Today, I met someone, I like her and we are gonna go on a date this Saturday and I'm really looking forward to it.I t took me 10 months,two weeks and three days to finally get over her,

finally I'm free.