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Jealousy is such a bitch
Nowhere feels like home and this home is only walls with a roof
Threads that stretch into the past are frayed and flutter in the breeze
Blowing from a drafty dark corridor that smells of decaying dreams
Or is it my dirty laundry i keep hidden in cloak rooms and trash bags
Hoping no one notices the dust covering the stories i polished with lies
Or the lies i painted to distract you from the truth i never told
About the jealousy that rages within me for the love i cannot have
Because you give it to a pig undeserving of your heart
As my lips form the word but my voice cannot speak its sound
Bitch!
You are all that word implies and very little more
Though you pretend to be an angel, you have fallen to your knees
And like all fallen angels you are bound to go to Hell
I would leave here if i had somewhere to go
But another home would be no more familiar than this empty bunch of walls
With a roof that cannot protect me from the cold you exude
That lingers in the air with the scent of your rotting corpse in my laundry bags
Besides, i am tired of dragging you around with me from one roof to another
I wonder, are you happy now? Are you getting that deep tan you always wished for?
It can't be hotter than Hell in Hades but I can still hear you bitching that it's so
Threads that stretch into the past are frayed and flutter in the breeze
Blowing from a drafty dark corridor that smells of decaying dreams
Or is it my dirty laundry i keep hidden in cloak rooms and trash bags
Hoping no one notices the dust covering the stories i polished with lies
Or the lies i painted to distract you from the truth i never told
About the jealousy that rages within me for the love i cannot have
Because you give it to a pig undeserving of your heart
As my lips form the word but my voice cannot speak its sound
Bitch!
You are all that word implies and very little more
Though you pretend to be an angel, you have fallen to your knees
And like all fallen angels you are bound to go to Hell
I would leave here if i had somewhere to go
But another home would be no more familiar than this empty bunch of walls
With a roof that cannot protect me from the cold you exude
That lingers in the air with the scent of your rotting corpse in my laundry bags
Besides, i am tired of dragging you around with me from one roof to another
I wonder, are you happy now? Are you getting that deep tan you always wished for?
It can't be hotter than Hell in Hades but I can still hear you bitching that it's so
Published 27th Sep 2013
| Edited 12th May 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
27th Sep 2013 4:48am
Oh gosh! Whatever brought this about, JJ? But true...jealousy is a bitch! Xo
27th Sep 2013 5:51am
Thanks for commenting Rain! It is an introspective/self poem. An inward look at my own shortcomings over feelings I have that I do not like feeling. I write poems like this from time to time in order to purge myself of my inner demons... JJ
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 7:35pm
27th Sep 2013 1:48pm
<< post removed >>
27th Sep 2013 10:03pm
28th Sep 2013 7:19pm
Other introspective poems of mine on DUP:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/86819-reflective-introspective---w-links/
Introspective / Self-Poems list
Self Portrait - 04/01/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/54369-self-portrait/
Forgive Not Forget - 04/03/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28861-forgive-not-forget/
Two Faced - 06/06/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/33598-3-seeds-of-hatred-raise-your-spirit/
Constant & Changing - 11/27/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/30966-constant-changing/
Walls And Bridges - 04/04/1985
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27476-walls-and-bridges/
The Man I Am No One Else Knows - 03/06/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/52990-the-man-i-am-no-one-else-knows/
Stock Room Blues - 06/30/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/56784-stock-room-blues/
Blind To The Me Others See - 07/04/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/34599-blind-to-the-me-others-see/
Struggle Against Success - 05/13/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27447-struggle-against-success/
But Does God Trust in US? - 05/30/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/31098-but-does-god-trust-in-us/
Every Eden Has It's Apples - 07/26/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26541-every-eden-has-its-apples/
See Through Inner Eyes - 10/27/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26570-see-through-inner-eyes/
Within Me - Beyond Me - 07/18/2003
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27362-within-me---beyond-me/
I Am - 03/04/2004
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28343-i-am/
Life Is An Ocean - 10/11/2004
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27363-life-is-an-ocean/
Under The Bridge - 03/30/2005
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27475-under-the-bridge/
Uncertain to Me - 04/01/2009
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/34596-uncertain-to-me/
When I'm Sixty-Five - Social Insecurity - 06/13/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26275-when-im-sixty-five---social-insecurity/
Holes In A Story - 11/01/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/32201-holes-in-a-story/
a Self Portrait of Holes In A Story - 12/06/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/68669-a-self-portrait-of-holes-in-a-story/
Learning to Fly - 04/23/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/49373-learning-to-fly/
Unfade Away - 06/09/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/55591-unfade-away/
Completion by Separation - 10/14/2012 - competition entry
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/72257-completion-by-separation---competition/
A Hero's Secret - 11/30/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/79274-a-heros-secret/
A New Beginning - 12/20/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/82858-a-new-beginning/
* This was previously posted without links, so I added them and updated the list with new poems. The list is chronological from oldest to newest.
jj
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/86819-reflective-introspective---w-links/
Introspective / Self-Poems list
Self Portrait - 04/01/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/54369-self-portrait/
Forgive Not Forget - 04/03/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28861-forgive-not-forget/
Two Faced - 06/06/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/33598-3-seeds-of-hatred-raise-your-spirit/
Constant & Changing - 11/27/1983
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/30966-constant-changing/
Walls And Bridges - 04/04/1985
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27476-walls-and-bridges/
The Man I Am No One Else Knows - 03/06/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/52990-the-man-i-am-no-one-else-knows/
Stock Room Blues - 06/30/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/56784-stock-room-blues/
Blind To The Me Others See - 07/04/1987
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/34599-blind-to-the-me-others-see/
Struggle Against Success - 05/13/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27447-struggle-against-success/
But Does God Trust in US? - 05/30/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/31098-but-does-god-trust-in-us/
Every Eden Has It's Apples - 07/26/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26541-every-eden-has-its-apples/
See Through Inner Eyes - 10/27/1989
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26570-see-through-inner-eyes/
Within Me - Beyond Me - 07/18/2003
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27362-within-me---beyond-me/
I Am - 03/04/2004
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28343-i-am/
Life Is An Ocean - 10/11/2004
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27363-life-is-an-ocean/
Under The Bridge - 03/30/2005
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/27475-under-the-bridge/
Uncertain to Me - 04/01/2009
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/34596-uncertain-to-me/
When I'm Sixty-Five - Social Insecurity - 06/13/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/26275-when-im-sixty-five---social-insecurity/
Holes In A Story - 11/01/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/32201-holes-in-a-story/
a Self Portrait of Holes In A Story - 12/06/2011
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/68669-a-self-portrait-of-holes-in-a-story/
Learning to Fly - 04/23/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/49373-learning-to-fly/
Unfade Away - 06/09/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/55591-unfade-away/
Completion by Separation - 10/14/2012 - competition entry
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/72257-completion-by-separation---competition/
A Hero's Secret - 11/30/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/79274-a-heros-secret/
A New Beginning - 12/20/2012
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/82858-a-new-beginning/
* This was previously posted without links, so I added them and updated the list with new poems. The list is chronological from oldest to newest.
jj
29th Sep 2013 10:25pm
sometimes I wonder if what I am feeling is jealousy or being envious...they seem very close. very graphic poem you wrote!
30th Sep 2013 2:43am
Thank you for commenting Scorpio. I think the difference between Jealousy and Envy is that basically anger. In both you want what someone else has, but I think jealousy is when you are angry that someone else has what you want. I don't think you get angry with envy, just filled with covetness, if that is a word. I might be wrong, but that's how I view the two. This is why people get jealous over love but envious over property. There again I could be wrong, it's just the way I perceive my own feelings. I suppose I could look it up in the dictionary. Probably in each others list of synonyms in a Thesaurus. JJ