Ramblings from Rehab

It’s a warm September evening
with the sun settling
beyond the shingles
My eyes squint
behind darkened lenses
whilst drinking cheap coffee
from a styrofoam cup
and sucking down
one Marlboro
after another

I sit at a hexagon picnic table
on a patio of stone
with full branches
dangling above
my smoothly shaved head
I’m decked out in black
from shirt to shoe

I ponder on
what’s racing through the minds
of the women letting me down
and why I continually trust
against my will

My musings spring into tomorrow
sorrow fills my mind with fear
My gel-like ink is running dry
not sure sometimes if I should try
My body doesn’t have it in me
no longer can it handle stress

What happened to my God almighty?
Jesus, where have thou gone?
I felt this way a week ago
and penetrate my soul, you did
Can’t even find a decent rhyme
or write my way to freedom
I’m tired and I want to rest
peacefully, in your great kingdom

I’m thirty-six and have no home
back on the streets where nomads roam
Wallet’s empty, can’t find peace
I need a dopamine release
but here I sit, again alone

The sun has set
dark settles in
I’m still in black
and full of sin