Epiphany

All these years wasted waiting on tomorrow up in smoke they went dealing with the sorrow my head change full of yesterdays now there's hell to pay times up none left to borrow. a vision of a happy life I hope I live to see to distance by a decade all these years of misery everyday is a constant struggle though my struggle is not vain not even Webster has the words that can describe this place of pain, its not a monkey on my back more like a demon in my brain I am the one who put it there by hands hold all the blame, left behind to remind me is a single track of shame. inside insain all that remains I got the point that words can't explain and behind it a thick 50 that I stuck inside my vein. my mistakes hold all the answers no need to question why is true, the truth was here long before me and will still be here long after you. only I can break this curse which I've carried from my youth bound by lies I now see through now I know the truth  now on my knees I'm almost defeated is today my death my destiny weak and weary now broken down it's a miracle I need the devil has me down he wants to bury me in mud.  The bastard is plotn my murder calculated in cold blood