under

 
under the influence
of the regular fluidity
of vodka
and cheap rum
of the green stuff
that smells like pine trees
and drano

under the impression
that i can pay off debts
i haven't made yet
that good hours at a bad job
will make me happy
that i can survive
on the absolute
minimum

under four different guys
in the last few weeks
each with their arms tensed
on either side of my head
each with a different
serious look on their face
but i think it's okay
if i close my eyes this time

i can't look in theirs
i can't climb out of a hole that deep
no matter how much of it
i dug
no matter how much dirt
i'm under
already