Write Before Bed

Off the top of my head
before I feel the need
to slowly heed
the longing call of my bed.

A book to read
homework to do
thoughts on my mind
yet not enough time.

It starts all over tomorrow
dark and early around five
sometimes I think that is what plays into drinking
the one thing that seems to help me feel alive.

But that is all over now
hopefully
fingers crossed
if I do not get it together this time
my future may surely be lost.

I can meditate
and pray
wish
and hope
to continue on any longer
my body could not cope.

So is it insanity
to realize what is wrong
but not do anything about it
like a pathetic country song.

I feel a tad bit better
just needed to throw this out
how my mind works
and what part of my life is about.

ILJC
9-5-13