Bloody Smile

Only one knows the truest form of my own self,
 but two knows the concious thoughts of my head.
I dream of a time I can have a voice without fear,
        a fear of pain and rejection.

I wrote without fear, one year plus five,
    Yet never will I stop.
 Who knows I live, that I am alive?
 Who cares for my tears, my cries?
      Who will listen to wisdom?

Two proud memories, two lost pains,
  yet others are bound in my heart.
When did they listen, or care?
 When did family ever raise happiness?
Or a mate inspire felicity?

From time begining, to eternal years,
my dreams inspire hope to you,
     but none comes to me.
My wish upon you comes in secret,
for what comes easy is forgotton.

My tears, my pain, five years bleeding,
yet hope still flies away.
Walk with a smile, I try and inspire,
Read, and learn the code to life.