subsidized housing

i wish i was as skilled at construction    
as i am at demolition    
   
she never answers my phone calls    
or returns a text    
but every once in a great while    
she writes    
saying everything is fine    
   
she never inquires how i am    
if i was lucky enough    
to know me    
as well as she does    
i would'nt either    
   
there is no hope for the future    
    
   
i have to love the realist    
as much as i hate the forward thinker    
   
there are no    
shout outs    
to not committing    
to anything at all    
let alone suicide yet    
or reminiscent references      
to the way we were    
   
there is no    
hey remember that time    
we sat on the front porch    
all night long    
 drinking sweet wine    
and singing sad songs    
with nothing but smiles    
until the sun started throwing punches    
     
   
or    
   
 i'm still gonna meet you in california    
to stop you from walking into the sea    
never to return    
on the event god winks your  way    
and a tidal wave sets the nearest    
beachhead in it's sights    
   
she makes sure she sends the message on monday    
to give me the work week to let it wear off    
before i delete and destroy everything again    
on a friday night    
   
appropriate timing    
   
after the weekend is always dedicated to    
fishing through    
and cleaning up the wreckage in my previous wake    
   
evil men have built towers    
and flooded the sub levels    
with poison gasses,debauchery and false wisdom    
not caring for the fate of their ground floor employees    
   
it's a long day    
at the bottom of the hill    
for a family of trench workers    
   
she was there when my daddy died    
 and he died alone  
and before his time after succumbing    
to the ideals of greedy men    
as i expect i will    
   
the power of knowledge will have you keeping secrets    
the knowledge of power    
will have you sleeping    
with only one eye adrift    
   
so i will construct my castle    
in a single ground floor excursion    
with a basement    
in hopes that i will see her from afar    
at eye level    
if she decides to return