Alone I Will Remain

tongue tied,
wanting to cry, but knowing I can't.
Want to rant to the world,
but its a cold one, and no one cares.

Rather not ruffle the hairs of others by being in it,
wanting the love of others but not willing to win it.
Racing to the line to try to finish, but don't know why.

People live and fail and die daily,
maybe that is my fate,
but I hate the thought of losing it all,
being irrelevant...falling without anyone caring.

I hear the voices of disapproval blaring in my head,
dreading the truth they speak,
as tears leak from my eyes.

I despise the voices that remind me I am nothing,
cutting my heart to stripes, new rips rending it useless.
I am clueless on how to escape,
watching those in my life abate further and further away.
My relationships decay, leaving me alone,
lonely,
seeking that which I can't ever attain,
so alone I will remain.