#TheMissingPiece

I've wanted to see you more than anything more than everything. Not only seeing touching, feeling, believing there's more to this life than ordinary happiness or something of the sort. Only this bond is keeping me alive, steady, ready for anything, it's given me my strength back ten times and running over.

 For many days I've held in my tears, my emotions, and the pain. I'd write you if I knew the words to say. Oh, the hand written sentiments I'd send, too many, too much, in every shape, color and font. Gradually overflowing the box and eventually falling, and flooding into the streets.

 With all the lovely luxuries of expressing love nothing could compare to the calming sound of your vocal chords straining to express the simple words I love you, then followed by hours of endless words, phrases, laughs and exclamations that bring me joy. But oh the wall, the wall placed between your lips and mine, between our bodies, preventing form of physical interaction, lacking luster, mocking everything we are and will one day be, that bland, unattractive, hell of a wall. The wall pushing us further away, and laughing at our every attempt of getting closer or climbing over will be the death of us.

I mean when I say that I have a desperate need for feeling; Feeling through intensity, through intimacy, and emotions, an intimacy greater than just sex, a sensation bigger than the ordinary orgasmic encounter. A point at which our bodies coincide, melt and produce a nirvana, a place of ultimate peace and healing, binding our souls and mending our minds to the point of a never ending climax. This much I can see, I can almost taste it. Our flesh as one would be the end. To live without a love such as this would be torture and to live without a love such as you would be a fate worse than the fiery pits of Satan’s lair. There is nothing like this in the world my love.

Until the day I see you again, I will be bound by loneliness and neglect. Only the tunes and tones pounding through my eardrums can drown out the pain. Ignoring the world is all I know for without you other things do not matter, nor exist. No drug, no alcohol is strong enough to block this affliction. There is no antidote for this poisonous state of mind. You are the only form of Ecstasy that can make me feel alive. Days grow longer Nights grow shorter and my patience is wearing thin but surprisingly getting stronger. As I stare into nothing my thoughts take me by the neck and slowly grip tighter.

 And after all that has been said I will state that I've taken back every hateful, cruel thing I have ever said about love. I now realize it is but another substance I need to survive in this God forsaken world.