deepundergroundpoetry.com
Deceptive
Lies...
that soar
like sparrows,
moving through the wind
beneath their wings
carrying rumors
like a wanted virus,
becoming airborne
spreading recklessly
by dispirited people,
that smell of misery
consumed with odium
no longer pursuing...
happiness.
Let us witness
the death of deceit
by the hands of betrayal
exposed by,
truth.
that soar
like sparrows,
moving through the wind
beneath their wings
carrying rumors
like a wanted virus,
becoming airborne
spreading recklessly
by dispirited people,
that smell of misery
consumed with odium
no longer pursuing...
happiness.
Let us witness
the death of deceit
by the hands of betrayal
exposed by,
truth.
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likes 12
reading list entries 1
comments 24
reads 150
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Deceptive
20th Aug 2013 9:29pm
Golden, I love the imagery and the message. Truth is a cold executioner of deception! I hope you have more like that one coming to DUP!!! JJ
1
re: Re: Deceptive
20th Aug 2013 10:17pm
Re: Deceptive
21st Aug 2013 00:57am
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Oct 2019 7:38am
21st Aug 2013 2:52am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Deceptive
21st Aug 2013 3:00am
Re: Deceptive
21st Aug 2013 3:36am
Anonymous
- Edited 26th Jun 2018 9:39pm
21st Aug 2013 5:43am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Deceptive
21st Aug 2013 5:48am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 10:07pm
21st Aug 2013 9:46pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Deceptive
21st Aug 2013 10:22pm
Re: Deceptive
22nd Aug 2013 9:30am
This is really deep and food for thought. It is short and to the point but delivers a powerful message.
1
Re: Deceptive
22nd Aug 2013 6:39pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 7:35pm
25th Aug 2013 11:22pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 26th Jun 2018 9:39pm
26th Aug 2013 8:09pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Deceptive
29th Aug 2013 5:55am
Re: Deceptive
28th Aug 2013 11:23pm
Wonderful. Glad I found you. Hope you don' mind me following you straight away. No doubt about that: love your way of words.
And of course: welcome her on DUP ;-)
And of course: welcome her on DUP ;-)
1
re: Re: Deceptive
29th Aug 2013 5:56am
Re: Deceptive
29th Aug 2013 9:21pm
Couple of things detracted from the poem for me: I thought it got disproportionately heavy at the end, a bit like a manifesto. And I've seen swifts, swallows, martins, hawks and even seagulls soar, but never the frantic sparrow. I mean well.
1
re: Re: Deceptive
I can see your struggles. Thanks for pointing out your distractions. I will try to make the descriptive flow clearer.