Underfed and Overdosed

I feel like
I’ve lost my way in life
I only see the light
in the darkness of night…
It gets old
relying on a handful of pills
just to smile in the morning…
happiness is hard to locate
when you’re underfed and overdosed
still wearing the same old clothes
I bought a year ago.
Can’t even go out in public
without people trying to talk to me
everywhere I go, someone recognizes me
I can’t find a moment of peace…
The Duality of Loneliness
wanting someone to talk to
then wishing they would leave me alone
I feel the joy in life has ceased to be
and I’m only 23...
This year has been so long
I can’t even remember February
and the one I allow myself to care about
acts like she fucking hates me…
I’m trying to restart the process
of closing myself off
tired of origami pain
my flimsy paper heart…

I spent so much time
trying to make her smile
it was all in vain
she only feeds me pain
overcooked and burnt
but still raw
force-fed mood-poisoning…

I’m sick of trying
I’m tired of crying
nothing I do is good enough
my life is now bereft of love
it wouldn’t be nearly as tough
to say fuck it
and just give up…