deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Day When Hell Broke Loose
This recession got me stressing
Regressing to a former state of my life
Tired of being broke, living paycheck to paycheck
For opportunity refuses to knock at my door.
Time for me to find opportunity
And do some knocking of my own.
Grab the chrome,
It’s about to be on
Violence is my key
About to unlock these barricade doors,
Murder will be the way
If anyone interferes bodies on the floor.
A.K. 47 shells pops off,
People scream
And as the screams intensifies
My evil smiles knowing I am feared
"Boo, the boogey man has appeared.
Pitch black,
Darkness
Clouds of smoke
Police enter
Guns drawn
Lights Flash
My heart races anticipating police guns blasting.
Because today it’s either get down or lay down
Guns of fury,
I have weapons too,
For the whole world about to know
The Day When Hell Broke Loose.
Regressing to a former state of my life
Tired of being broke, living paycheck to paycheck
For opportunity refuses to knock at my door.
Time for me to find opportunity
And do some knocking of my own.
Grab the chrome,
It’s about to be on
Violence is my key
About to unlock these barricade doors,
Murder will be the way
If anyone interferes bodies on the floor.
A.K. 47 shells pops off,
People scream
And as the screams intensifies
My evil smiles knowing I am feared
"Boo, the boogey man has appeared.
Pitch black,
Darkness
Clouds of smoke
Police enter
Guns drawn
Lights Flash
My heart races anticipating police guns blasting.
Because today it’s either get down or lay down
Guns of fury,
I have weapons too,
For the whole world about to know
The Day When Hell Broke Loose.
Published 19th Aug 2013
| Edited 22nd Sep 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 17
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Aug 2013 6:09am
Wow ElBaby! Though I didn't understand the message of this ink, as for as not having opportunities and going out and finding them with violence, I will say it held my attention from the first line. The video intensified this piece. Enjoyed! Pen On~
19th Aug 2013 10:10pm
Thank you my lovely friend. Always can count on you for an honest feed back. Got to go and read what you wrote. Have a safe and blessed day.
21st Aug 2013 4:42am
22nd Aug 2013 4:48pm
21st Aug 2013 1:10pm
Lol wow, so it's like that huh? Ain't gettin no cheddar, so u just gonba go ham on folks!? lol
dark n twisted ink, but I liked it lol
dark n twisted ink, but I liked it lol
22nd Aug 2013 4:50pm
Oh yah my friend it's the title piece to my next book. Thanks for the read, view, and comment. God bless you and have a joyous day.
22nd Aug 2013 1:01pm
Quite hateful, but I can see where the inspiration came from and you performed it nicely.
Hope you didn't really pick up a gun and settled on the more powerful weapons, the pen and the words, brother.
Hope you didn't really pick up a gun and settled on the more powerful weapons, the pen and the words, brother.
My friend my life is great. I'm a poetic story teller, and this piece is the next title to a book I'm working on. Thanks for the comment and do stay tuned.
28th Aug 2013 00:43am
nice shootout w/the authorities. when desperation hammers us, go for broke...
28th Aug 2013 5:08pm
You right about that my friend in desperate times you have to go for broke. Thanks for the read and comment.
20th Sep 2013 7:47pm
This is a write many can relate too, especially when you think about whole cities going bankrupt. I think there may be a couple of typos:
"Boo, the boogey man have appeared." noun/subject agreement, singular man should be "has". Plural men is "have".
"I have weapons to," should be "too". Or you could use "also"
"Boo, the boogey man have appeared." noun/subject agreement, singular man should be "has". Plural men is "have".
"I have weapons to," should be "too". Or you could use "also"
22nd Sep 2013 1:40pm
Thanks JZM for the critique, for if you don't know where you're at then how do you get to where you need to be? Thanks for your comments and pointing out the typos. Changes are made and may God continue to bless you always & forever my friend.
22nd Sep 2013 4:02pm
No problem...I am the worst at not correcting my own writing. If I had been limited to just my own proof reading I don't think I would have gotten into college, law school, or graduate school!
18th Oct 2013 9:01pm
They say money isn't everything yet one would kill just to have it. It's a necessary evil for some. "Money is the root of all evil". You captured that quite well here.
18th Oct 2013 11:45pm
You are more than right on your assessment of this for many have killed, rob, burglarized just to get the green. It's sad but so true. Thanks for the comment and God bless you.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:41pm
20th Dec 2013 6:11pm
<< post removed >>
21st Dec 2013 00:20am
Thanks my friend and how true you are when people are faced with desperate measures they tend to do desperate things. Thanks again for the read and watch of video and may you have a safe and blessed night.