134 (Trigger warning)

For the first time in a year
I thought about burning myself
Today.
It made me feel weird,
Yet somehow comforted
By the idea
Of having the hot safety pin
Pressed up against
My skin for a minute or so,
Repeating the process over
And over again
On my left wrist
Or right hip bone.
Doesn't really matter honestly,
All I know is that  I didn't do it,
But the thought of it
Still lingers inside my head.