No place for someone like me...

Hollow eyed, with a haunted stare
I am walking the edge…

Along  the precipice of madness
asking myself over and over again…
what has happened to us all?
When did we stop fighting
for things worth that and more?!
What happened to selfless
acts of kindness or unsung heroism,
the pure light of love or
the fiery righteousness of honesty?

Why… WHY!!!... whispering, why…

I… for a long time now, have been battling
the suffocating sadness that threatens
to drown me without mercy,
and the clawing, gnashing bite of madness
tearing at my frail mental edges.

There is no place in this world for people like me…

I am out sync in this place and time,
I believe in kindness, in generosity
just for the sake of it,
In honesty because it’s right,
selflessly giving of myself
to any and all who may need it.

but… There is no place in this world for people like me!

I thought if I worked hard and was a good mother
and a loyal loving wife, a faithful mate,
honest and god fearing life would be good…

hahaha how cynical …

I could not be further from the truth,
the more I gave the more was taken
and ever more was demanded,
the more I loved the more I was used, abused
and then discarded like refuse.
The more I sacrificed for my children
the more they scorned my mother’s love
now in the end  I am alone…
swallowing tears of anguish and agony,
of a pain deep and unyielding…

why… why am I here?...

I want to sleep now and never wake
to leave the sadness of this place,
to know this heartache no more…

There is no place, no home… no peace
in this world for people like me…

Let my light be extinguished,
and my fire go out,
let the embers grow cold,
fading into no ones memory
for in this world, there is
no place for me to find refuge
and finally call home…

Gypsy Red