Addicted

It's that one moment
When the best friend you love has a new girlfriend
And you are torn between wanting
The best for him and
being the jealous bitch you promised him you wouldn't be.

He knows I love him.
He says he loves me too.
Shut it.
Like a friend.
LIKE A FRIEND.
LIKE. A friend.
I gave you your heart.
I built you up when you said you were broken.
When you couldn't feel I was your sense of reality.
I built a house for a stranger to live in.
Not my choice!
Go figure!

But now I am shaking.
I shake from the cold.
My project has gone home to roost in the wings
of a new mother hen.
Addicted to love.
I cry for the high I felt during my days of ignorance.

Not knowing how you felt
was enough.
NOT KNOWING how you
felt was enough.

I long for the past.
Glory days wrapped up in your arms.
A corpse of love.
A corpse to life.
Dead to you.
Or maybe not dead...just
LIKE A FRIEND.
I'm hooked on you and I can't get off.

It's that moment when
The one person you're attracted to gives himself to another girl
After all your hard work
After all is said and done
You feel dead.
He tells you you're the best but you feel dead.
You manage a brave smile but you feel dead.
Being a friend is not enough
But you just want to feel the high of his company.

Addicted to his love I keep falling
Knowing there is no ground to land on
No hard fall to wake me out of my dream
and no shoulder to cry on for me.