You are you...

I lost you a decade ago this year,
10 years and I still cry so much,
People probably wonder why,
But they do not understand,
I didn't care what you did,
Who you are to me is important,
Although you did not do things right,
Who is to say they were wrong,
They are choices that went a bad way,
Sometimes there were good ones,
I knew you always loved me,
Putting us first when you could,
Other times the addiction just took over,
It is something you needed,
I accepted that to see you,
Your life is yours,
Now that you're gone it is hard,
You cared because you're my mum,
At times it could not be seen,
Deep down the love was real,
This front you had was a shell,
I never knew the damage inside,
You hid it so well,
I have that same ability,
I see the good from you inside me,
There were so many nice times,
You made me feel special,
I was your only girl,
It hurts that you are gone,
More because I don't know why,
It doesn't make sense,
You were only 38,
Me at just 18,
Too young to lose my mum,
Just a little longer,
We would of cared for you,
You chose to take yourself away,
Was you in so much pain?
Now we know we were too late,
Never saw that cry for help,
Nothing I can do,
You're gone,
Empty space where you should be,
I want to see you again,
As I sit here and cry,
I will never know why,
But you are you,
My mum and I love you.