Top Shelf Doll

Top shelf doll,
long way to fall down if you slip,
but placed up there with great care,
until the next time it's time to play.

Disappointment brings tears so close to the surface,
waiting to delicately trace their path down my cheeks.
How  do I trust that you won't always sit me back up there,
forgetting me,
making me wait for you.

It hurts, and I don't know how to cope with this,
I guess I had had an unrealistic view,
naturally I never have a clue of what the reality is.

You can't build your own glass tower,
to reside in.  To protect you from the hurt
or the lies.
It's not rational, or reasonable.
But when I wake up, mornings like this,
feeling so feeble at heart,
I wan't so badly to run away,
to leave this crazy pursuit behind me,
so it can't keep hurting me anymore.

I believe it may be so much better
to spend time alone,
lose the expectations that one may actually
reciprocate and care, because sometimes
they just cannot.

And my heart can't see the real thing from a fraud.
It wants some kind of love desperately,
and that blinds the eyes,
it blinds the common sense, a direct defense
of the heart.

So start again I will, waiting for the next time its time to play,
be it another day or another week,
fleeting will the time be,
but my heart will get its love fix
before its back to the shelf for me.