deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tender Resignation From A Hooker
Dear Madam
It’s with deep regret…
perhaps not
in fact
it feels more like the withdraw
of a right pain in the ass…
I can barely contain my relief
to give my formal notice of resignation
from my esteemed position
in your brothel.
My last working day will be
like any other
bent over getting screwed
by payroll.
I’ve accepted a relieving position with bonuses…
no more anal pile-driving
and better conditions…
they also employ “cleaners” that even do the “laundry.”
I would like to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed
working here
but my therapist told me lying
is a defence mechanism
to reduce the anxiety associated with painful experiences…
my fucking job.
My new position
with a higher class of hookers
will challenge my growth…
I have to wear 8 inch heals
and will further my career…
without sucking cock for free.
I guess he never told you.
He hasn’t got the balls
cause I’m wearing them around my neck.
I appreciate your professionalism
as they say
"Once a pro always a pro"
and your clear encouragement to grow…
it’s undeniable
you look great with the extra weight.
Your mentoring support has encouraged me
to finish school
so I don’t wind up an old stuck up whore
who thinks she knows it all.
I wish you
and your fucking business
continued growth…
without my regular clientele
and without your husbands balls.
I wish you every inch of suck-cess
in the future…
but not even three wishes
could guarantee
your future.
Once yours
never again
sincerely
The Happy Hooker.
This poem was submitted in the Sarcasm and Humour In Poetry comps
Published 6th Jul 2013
| Edited 7th Jul 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 15
reads 138
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
6th Jul 2013 3:40pm
<< post removed >>
6th Jul 2013 3:49pm
Thanks Magdalena. I like submitting them just hours, minutes before the comp closes. I work better under pressure.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:43pm
6th Jul 2013 3:47pm
<< post removed >>
6th Jul 2013 3:55pm
Why thank you Ms AngelicD. I'm stoked I could make you laugh.
Making people laugh is the reward of writing humorous pieces, but the reader is the true test of how funny you think you are.
Thanks heaps for your feedback.
Making people laugh is the reward of writing humorous pieces, but the reader is the true test of how funny you think you are.
Thanks heaps for your feedback.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 7:45pm
6th Jul 2013 3:52pm
<< post removed >>
6th Jul 2013 4:01pm
Thank you (don't type Leo) Theo.
I've already submitted a piece called "Download" in the Humor comp.... but I think I've got a few more days to submit another.
I've already submitted a piece called "Download" in the Humor comp.... but I think I've got a few more days to submit another.
7th Jul 2013 00:08am
Hey! When you call me "Madame", you damn well better have a chocolate bar stuffed in your resignation letter! Cripes, now I have to start interviews all over--thanks, Alexander!
(:D Nice write, BTW!) LOL
(:D Nice write, BTW!) LOL
7th Jul 2013 9:35am
Thank you MadameLavender for your comments.
Hookers just can't hold a job like they use to... when things get too hard they just blow. ;)
Hookers just can't hold a job like they use to... when things get too hard they just blow. ;)
8th Jul 2013 5:19am
8th Jul 2013 6:02pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 11:39am
8th Jul 2013 7:03am
<< post removed >>
8th Jul 2013 6:06pm
Well, I can assure it's not like mine!!! Thanks for reading.... and your name looks familiar, but I think you've recently changed your profile pic!!! Don't you hate that? :)
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 11:39am
8th Jul 2013 6:11pm
<< post removed >>
9th Jul 2013 5:35am
I love this because metaphorically it speaks to so many of us whose work puts us on our backs ... or knees ... A better position just means a different kind of pimp or Madame ...
Cool write ...
... LSP
Cool write ...
... LSP
9th Jul 2013 2:14pm
Thanks LSP I really enjoyed your comments. This was a fun scribe. I just took a resignation letter and fucked with the delivery and loaded it with one liners. I'm actually tempted to use it.