JEALOUS

i like poems with surprises at the end. started out simple. it was fetching to imagine you chopping food up just for the pleasure of chopping. being attracted to shiny things. i thought it might turn sexual, but took a sharp turn towards heartache instead...

"Like how you chopped my heart    
into fragments when i saw you  
  
with her..."  
  
maybe that sexual notion was wishful thinking on my part. nonetheless, i didnt see that ending coming. when it did come, it connected. sharp and on target. we are attracted to the thrill of lust/love even though we know it may bring us pain and cut our heart. still, we can't get away from it. i'm glad we can't. the pain makes the pleasure all the more enjoyable when we experience the highs. those thrills are worth the heartache. i'm glad you still grab hold of the knife. i'm glad you shared this poem. keep it real and take it easy...

yup, i don't think it's stupid either,it's just my defense mechanism talking a while ago(that's why i already deleted my little author's note...though i just think it's a little highschool-ish,haha!)but thanks JP for such a nice comment! i really appreciate it :)

i love the first verse.

the pent up emotion is palpable.

for me i think it would read better without this line;

My oh my, why do I have to be  

the last two lines work but feel a little forced.
all in all a good little poem
thanks for th eread.    

thanks Billy :) to tell you the truth i'm still going back and forth with this one 'coz I'm not satisfied with it... But i'd definitely consider your suggestions when i have the time to edit it... thanks again! salute my friend :-)

I think the only line that could be removed is the one in parentheses: "(such as forks, blades, swords and knives)"  it adds an unnecessary validation and I feel it actually takes away from the point (no pun intended).  Nevertheless, with or without this line, superb.

you're right, i've tried it and i think it works...
thanks Pierre! (and stop being so mean, gosh!)LOL :)

The last drives home what anyone who has experienced this can understand and feel deeply.
As always, love it.

:-) thanks so much! glad that you liked it...

The poem starts with trivialities like onions and garlic and tomatoes and moves craftily into an issue as serious as a heartbreak.

I like the second stanza so much... There is an inference there that is beyond ordinary Knives slicing through things.

The last stanza is an unexpected blow on the audience.

The writer has got brain.

divine says: "The writer has got brain." Haha, thanks for that... sometimes i doubt that, but thanks :)

I realy love to read your poems.
Great poem and comments; a wonderful school for all this. I realy enjoy this page.
Thanks for sharing

aww, that's so sweet of you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my poems... thanks so much dear! :)