deepundergroundpoetry.com
Anarchia
You bring me to beginnings
not necessarily new
not necessarily pleasant
Note: i really need your advice on the first line. it doesn't sound right.
not necessarily new
not necessarily pleasant
Note: i really need your advice on the first line. it doesn't sound right.
Published 23rd Jun 2013
| Edited 19th Mar 2014
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 148
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jun 2013 5:31pm
Opheliac.
Not sure it'll help, but sometimes I'll throw an 'and at the start of the first line to see how that'll sound or read:
and you'll bring me to beginnings
not necessarily new
not necessarily pleasant
Something to ponder on anyway, I s'pose with that change of word it brings the poem into.more of a prediction than a statement.
good stuff here missus as per, shine like an arc light :)
Not sure it'll help, but sometimes I'll throw an 'and at the start of the first line to see how that'll sound or read:
and you'll bring me to beginnings
not necessarily new
not necessarily pleasant
Something to ponder on anyway, I s'pose with that change of word it brings the poem into.more of a prediction than a statement.
good stuff here missus as per, shine like an arc light :)
27th Jun 2013 6:29pm
24th Jun 2013 00:01am
Perhaps removing the fullstop after 'beginnings' would make it flow differently? I don't know, but I enjoyed it as it stands anyway
27th Jun 2013 6:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 20th May 2020 11:37am
27th Jun 2013 10:13am
<< post removed >>
27th Jun 2013 6:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2019 00:35am
27th Jun 2013 4:05pm
<< post removed >>
27th Jun 2013 6:33pm
27th Jul 2013 6:24pm
6th Aug 2013 1:57pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 7:35pm
6th Aug 2013 00:25am
<< post removed >>
6th Aug 2013 1:59pm