mind the gap

I can't guess what's outside my mind        
I even don't know what's inside        
there's only words that I can find        
still trapped beyond their wrong and right        
       
I tried to analyze what's me        
and I did find I am not there        
'though I'm still trying hard to see        
my self gets lost within my stare        
       
it seems this is the final line        
there is no answer from beyond        
my mind plays tricks on my weird mind        
so I can't tell what I have found        
       
I sense a gap yawning at me        
extremely bored by useless tries        
I can't control what I can't see        
and what I see still blinds my eye        
       
this gap is wide and it is deep        
I would get lost if I should try        
to cross it with a logic heap        
since every meaning is a lie        
       
hope I'm not damned to realize        
that there's no way for going on        
that going further won't be wise        
may cause confusing right with wrong        
       
I blame my helplessly forced thoughts        
for showing what I can't deny        
although I know it's them of course        
that hide the world from my fooled eye        
       
I can't guess what's outside my mind        
and don't know what is all inside        
there's only words newly combined        
to live on beyond wrong and right        
       
the gap is deep and it is wide        
I'm lost no matter if I try        
to reach out for the other side        
since every reason is a lie        
       
but writing on to change what's true        
may lift me to a novel top        
a strange one with a wider view        
for getting closer there's no stop        
       
'though gaps restrain what I can do        
but there's no way for giving up        
lost, yearning for a self that's true        
maybe I already went one step        
                                       too far        
                                                and        
       
                                                  fell        
       
       
                                                  into        
                       
       
       
                                                  the        
       
       
       
       
                                                   gap