Free Thinking....Why Is it costing me

Lately...
I think I believe
in the reverse dynamics
of all that is to be
See...
Some things are driving me
Closer to the bring of Insanity

As I try to deal with
that more Toxic Me
The me that doesn't respond
to  Zoloft or Therapy...

I'm dealing with the me
that is tired of being
pushed to the edge

Now ...I'm ready  
to take a running start
So I can jump right off that ledge!
NO more mindless acceptance of
the matrix and what it says

I have the right to create
the life I want...
Without preconceived notions
In my head....

Tired...
Of the worlds monotony
I see now how much its costing me
As I carry pockets full of spiritual currency
The desire to NOT repeat the past
Is burning me...

In the wind...
I hear spirits urging me
As I unfurl my "Wet Wings"

Yes... I leap into the wind
Fearlessness...
The price for my sin
As I shed the skin of who
I WAS AND WHERE I'VE BEEN
I now embrace...
The phoenix ...within...

Now.. wet wings are drying..
as I do some serious flying
Cause I'm tired...so tired
Of the sting my soul feels
from crying...
Tumultuous emotion from
the vastness of my souls ocean
I am tired of drowning myself
In the sea of Karmic Repeats
It's time for trouble to evaporate
Like ... the sweat on my sheets
After troubled dreams....
Now..
Its time for me to be selfish...
and just a little bit mean...
Since I...am the only person
who is gonna worry about me...
NO more blaming
I take responsibility...
So If I don't get what I want
out of this life...
I can only be mad at me.