Deep Within

I feel this deep internal struggle pressing upon my heart. And the phobia and terrifying emotion that it puts me thru I know can be seen upon the face of this body. But there is nothing of convention that can peel away this that I wear. So I guess that it's mine eternal.  
I look to the sky, grasping, groping-
I throw caution to the wind, desperately hoping-
I feel disassociated with all my former, creature-comforts that once meant something-
Cause now, since my change they mean nothing-
Wandering aimlessly like a sleepwalker-
I feel that thing within me that I fear, swooping down inside my soul like an abyss, reopened, waiting, re-awoken, for its, chosen-
I feel its breath on my heart, as it relentlessly continues to stalk-
And from its desire, I fret that it will never balk-
The sweat runs profusely from every pore as in pandemonium I have been adorned-
Oh this wretched clothing that now I am wearing-
Someone give me the remedy and they from this body I will be shredding-
But not to soon, no it's not the right time, cause to tear skin from this, mortal coil would not make me seem of sound-mind-
No,this creature, this monster that day by day comes to haunt me-
Does not dwell in the external but in my heart where I think he'll remain eternal-