deepundergroundpoetry.com
A faint star's light
He bundles me up in his balloon basket
and lets go of the ropes.
I'm buoyant, free floating
and still dumbstruck
that I matter.
He offers me the space
between the stars
but I'm happy sharing
this planet.
I have yet to meet anyone
with warmer words
than his.
It's strange and wonderful
to fly without strings.
Published 10th Jun 2013
| Edited 13th Jun 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 1
comments 38
reads 161
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 10:07pm
10th Jun 2013 4:35pm
<< post removed >>
10th Jun 2013 4:38pm
10th Jun 2013 4:40pm
10th Jun 2013 4:46pm
10th Jun 2013 5:14pm
Very sweet, Atakti, the love let loose in this poem. My only minor recommendation for the sake of symetry if nothing else is maybe ending the first line with balloon and starting line 2 with basket. All in all, a very nice job!
10th Jun 2013 8:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2019 9:40pm
10th Jun 2013 5:38pm
<< post removed >>
10th Jun 2013 8:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 7:52pm
10th Jun 2013 5:45pm
<< post removed >>
10th Jun 2013 8:33pm
10th Jun 2013 6:53pm
Sweet seems to be the word of the day here Atakti, I dunno, I S'pose on the surface there migjt be a sweetness to it ..
wonderful job btw, really a pleasure to read your shit missus
wonderful job btw, really a pleasure to read your shit missus
10th Jun 2013 8:34pm
10th Jun 2013 9:04pm
10th Jun 2013 9:18pm
Anonymous
- Edited 11th May 2018 9:36pm
10th Jun 2013 9:36pm
<< post removed >>
10th Jun 2013 9:46pm
The only thing that matters is to free the joy... The words release.
Thanks, Matt. :)
Thanks, Matt. :)
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:05pm
10th Jun 2013 10:51pm
<< post removed >>
11th Jun 2013 2:57pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
10th Jun 2013 10:59pm
<< post removed >>
11th Jun 2013 2:58pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
10th Jun 2013 11:14pm
<< post removed >>
Pre-existing narrative... how astute of you Jack. I didn't even notice. Thank you for your kind comments and the list add.
11th Jun 2013 2:35am
A Wonderful free-floating write-I Loved this!!!
Your writing has always been great, but the past few have been outstanding in form and delivery!!!
Perfect emotive Pen!!!
Your writing has always been great, but the past few have been outstanding in form and delivery!!!
Perfect emotive Pen!!!
11th Jun 2013 10:08pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
11th Jun 2013 8:36am
<< post removed >>
11th Jun 2013 10:10pm
11th Jun 2013 10:53am
11th Jun 2013 10:11pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 9:40pm
11th Jun 2013 11:25am
<< post removed >>
12th Jun 2013 6:14am
12th Jun 2013 5:51am
You're welcome, Mike. I'm humbled that the poem affected you. Thank you for the list add...
:)
:)
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:40pm
12th Jun 2013 8:07pm
<< post removed >>
13th Jun 2013 7:08pm
Yeah, I had "basket" on the first line, then someone suggested I move it. I tried it out, and I agree, the way I originally had it is better. Changed back!
I moved "anyone"... let's see how that sits with me.
Thanks so much for your feedback! *beams at you*
I moved "anyone"... let's see how that sits with me.
Thanks so much for your feedback! *beams at you*
13th Jun 2013 6:21pm
Uplifting, like the words are weightless,
even though they hold so much.
One of my favorites of yours :)
even though they hold so much.
One of my favorites of yours :)
13th Jun 2013 7:08pm
13th Aug 2013 5:09am
"He offers me the space
between the stars
but I'm happy sharing
this planet."
Great pen Atakti!! I'm always weightless after reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
between the stars
but I'm happy sharing
this planet."
Great pen Atakti!! I'm always weightless after reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
13th Aug 2013 8:46am