deepundergroundpoetry.com
Brothers
I peeked in
upon
a lighted doorway
when
so long meant
today
since in ragged
form
what has become
jagged
He looked out
along
the dark hallway
then
longing of faraway
someday
sense of perfect
thorn
everything is numb
acting
upon
a lighted doorway
when
so long meant
today
since in ragged
form
what has become
jagged
He looked out
along
the dark hallway
then
longing of faraway
someday
sense of perfect
thorn
everything is numb
acting
Published 4th Jun 2013
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likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 17
reads 89
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The author encourages honest critique.
4th Jun 2013 2:07am
4th Jun 2013 2:27am
4th Jun 2013 2:32am
By presenting the contrast of light and dark you give a difference that all readers can relate to. "Everything is numb
acting", stands out as a most remarkable line.
acting", stands out as a most remarkable line.
4th Jun 2013 4:34am
Thank You Jazz:) this was one of those I couldn't shape what I saw...the two sections were to be side by side...but when writing such...it mingles the words together once You hit preview...anything written offset...it has to be done "photo"-style...which our fine friends of two use the sacred secrets of often...I shall learn this magic one day:)
4th Jun 2013 5:10am
Anonymous
4th Jun 2013 5:20am
I love the uniqueness of You, seeping from your pen! ;)
4th Jun 2013 5:40am
Love For You too Dear Rain, Your heart and soul flows in Your ink to be sure!!!
Thank You My Friend!!!
Thank You My Friend!!!
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 9:40pm
4th Jun 2013 6:18am
<< post removed >>
4th Jun 2013 2:11pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
4th Jun 2013 8:58am
<< post removed >>
4th Jun 2013 2:14pm
Indeed light and dark have infinite reach!!!
Thank You Dear Magdalena!!!
Thank You Dear Magdalena!!!
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
4th Jun 2013 9:08am
<< post removed >>
Indeed tried presenting as brothers but yes thoughts to bhudism ...i can mull the finite details for way too much lengths at time. Thank You Dear Queen!!!
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:05pm
4th Jun 2013 10:45am
<< post removed >>
4th Jun 2013 2:17pm
5th Jun 2013 9:20pm
Much enjoyed, your skill is shown in
every poem, I like the idea of the contrast
in this one :)
Well written, poet!
every poem, I like the idea of the contrast
in this one :)
Well written, poet!
Awww glad You liked it :) (the painting is actually a brother and sister ;) Thank You-too kind Dear Poetess!!!